Bliver simpelthen nødt til at dele denne fantastiske side med jer... Det er selvfølgelig Chuck Norris det handler om..
www.chucknorrisfacts.com/
I kan lige få top 10 facts, men der er mange mange flere:
1. Chuck Norris" tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
2.Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
3. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
4.The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
5. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can"t see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
6.Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
7.Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies
the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
8.Chuck Norris doesn't wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
9.Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.
10.In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
11. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris" beard. There is only another fist.
OT: Alles forbillede...
Synes nu den er ret sjov, hvis den havde været om GUS eller Phil tror jeg ikke conild ville skrive OT i emnet ;)
/Costa
LOL Conild, monstergriner liste!
Prøv at gå ind og læse dem på siden.. Så dem igår da jeg så NFL.. Havde tåre i øjnene af latter..
Why Vin Diesel is God
When Vin Diesel drinks pee, his asparagus smells funny.
If you rearrange the letters in Vin Diesel it reveals his credo: "I End Lives."
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for
Vin Diesel.
There is no "I" in team. There are two "I"s in Vin Diesel. So fuck you, team.
When Vin Diesel goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and
instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
When Vin Diesel was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That"s Vin
Diesel!" Then she had sex with him. At that point, she was the third
girl he had slept with.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Vin Diesel could use
to kill you, including the room itself.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Vin Diesel
allows to live.
Vin Diesel once walked down the street with a massive erection. There
were no survivors.
Vin Diesel coined the phrase, "I could eat a Horse" after he ate every
last unicorn in existence.
When Vin Diesel jumps into a body of water, he doesn"t get wet. The
water gets Vin instead.
Vin Diesel has always been able to find Waldo, except for one time. He
found himself stumped on the last page of Where"s Waldo Now?, not
being able to find the Waldo without a shoe. He threw the book down
and screamed, "This is BULLSHIT!" They"re all wearing shoes." He then
proceeded to eat the book and exclaim, "IF I CAN"T FIND WALDO, THEN NO
ONE CAN!" The book he ate belonged to a child that he had borrowed it
from. The child began to cry and Vin ate him for good measure. The
incident has since been refered to as Christmas.
Vin Diesel is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Vin Diesel speaks in Dolby 5.1 surround sound.
Vin Diesel has two speeds: walk and kill.
Crop circles are Vin"s way of telling the world that sometimes corn
needs to lie the fuck down.
Vin Diesel once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his
Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his
"Filet of Child" sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear.
Vin Diesel can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Vin Diesel is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Vin Diesel is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with
lactose"s shit.
You are what you eat. That is why Vin Diesel"s diet consists entirely
of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.
Vin Diesel doesn"t believe in rubber condoms. Instead, he sticks his
penis in a girl, and uses that girl as a condom while fucking another.
Vin Diesel can divide by zero.
In fine print at on the last page of the Guiness Book of World Records
it notes that all world records are held by Vin Diesel, and those
listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to
matching him.
Vin Diesel played Russian Roulete with a fully loaded gun and won.
If you were to lock Vin Diesel in a room with a guitar, a year later
you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy"s.
When asked why he doesn"t do this Vin replied "Because Grammy"s are
for queers." Then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his
response.
Vin Diesel was the hunter who shot Bambi"s Mother. He then wore her
carcass like it was a coat while he made his rounds at the local
children"s hospital.
Magnetic compasses do not point toward true North - they point in the
direction of Vin Diesel. He just likes to sit on a lawn chair and
shout, "Jackets are for pussies!" at the Acrtic researchers.
Vin Diesel singlehandedly re-aligns the sun depending on which countr
Hehe, jeg tror iøvrigt sagtens Chuck Norris kunne tæve den hvalp til Vin Diesel :-)
@ Runc
Forresten er alle, pånær nogle få, af dine ovenstående citater taget fra chucknorrisfacts.com
Ingen kan kopiere eller slå Chuck Norris (bortset fra Chuck Norris)
Fik lige det her klip hvor Chuck Norris selv læser top ti facts op:
[a:http://www.dumpalink.com/media/1142242633/The_Chuck_Norris_Facts][a]
RUNC
Edit: aktivering af link...
Det sejeste fact af alle - Chuck Norris er så sej at bare det at skrive ''Chuck Norris'' i lobby chatten på PokerRoom gør at man får følgende advarsel fra systemet :
"<Moderator>Please refrain from using abusive language and observe the Etiquette policy, otherwise you risk having your chat facility blocked."
SÅ magtfuld er CN at bare det at skrive hans navn er forbudt på alle sites på PokerRoom netværket - Betsson, Eurobet, Hollywood, FullTilt etc..
Morsomt syns jeg :)
(PS: Research viser at man godt må skrive Chuck Morris :)
Bruce Lee lavede engang en film hvor han tævede Chuck Norris. Nogle år senere døde han på mystisk vis.
Do not "fuck" with the true champ !!
Så kan de lære det.
Kendte godt siden med facts (har den med den kinesiske mur stående som std. på min messanger), men siden hvor han læser dem havde jeg ikke - FANTASTISK !!!
Super super :-)
[a:www.jackbauerfacts.com][a]
En mand der slår både Diesel og Chuckie!
If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he''d shoot Nina twice.
Jack Bauer could get off the Lost island in 24 hours.
Jack and Jill went up the hill. Only Jack came down. Jill was a fucking terrorist.
Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
Killing Jack Bauer doesn''t make him dead. It just makes him angry.
When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack found it and put it back.
After running out of ammo, Jack stood in the line of fire, took 3 shots to the chest, and used them to reload.
When life hands Jack Bauer Lemons, he kills Terrorists. Jack Bauer fuckin'' hates lemonade.
Jack Bauer doesn''t miss. If he didn''t hit you it''s because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.
As a boy, Jack Bauer interrogated his parents on Easter until they revealed the location and contents of each hidden egg.
Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.
lol
Når Kenneth Carlsen hopper i vandet bliver han ikke våd. Vandet bliver Kenneth Carlsen!
X
When Jack Bauer is looking for a good laugh, he watches Chuck Norris work out on his Total Gym.
Da Lars Bom var lille, var det ham der sagde til hans far han skulle spise sine grøntsager.
Chuck Norris told Jack Bauer that he only killed 15 people cause he ran out of bullets. Jack told him he only killed 93 people cause he ran out of people. Then Jack snapped Chuck Norris'' neck into 24 pieces.
Ebbe Langberg er så hård at de på amerikansk radio har et indslag der hedder: The American Longbergs! (Nicolas)
Der er ingen masseødelæggelsesvåben i Irak. Jørgen Rehnberg bor i Holte! (Christian)
Ole Ernst er så sej, at han kun har brugt stuntman en gang, da han skulle drikke et glas mælk! (Troels)
Man kan sige meget om Puk Elgaard - men det skal man ikke! (Søren)
Det er ikke Steffen der skal i praktik hos Mads og Adam, det er Mads og Adam der skal i praktik hos Steffen!
Tommy Troelsen er så sej at han får løg til at græde! (Kasper Nielsen)
Hulk er ikke en amerikansk opfunden person, det er en af steffens rollespilfigurer! (Lillekaliffen)
Holger Juul Hansens eneste kommentar til Niel Armstrongs første skridt på månen i ''69: Been there! Done that! Bought the t-shirt! (Lasse)
Kurt Ravn sagde nej til rollen som Terminator, så Terminator blev tilbudt rollen som Kurt Ravn! (Søren)
Steffen taler ikke Jydsk - Det er jyder der taler Steffensk! (Michael)
Der findes ikke rumvæsner! Det er Yepha der kaster med UFO.!
Efter at Jørn Mader havde besøgt jumfru øerne er de blot blevet kaldt øerne!
Flemming "Bamse" Jørgensen løj da han sang at han ikke ku gå på vandet! (Lenny)
Søren Pilmark har truet regeringen til at ændre Danmark til Pilmark. Fra nu af hedder de danskere pillere!
Claus Borre bestilte engang en Big Mac hos Burger King. Og fik den!
Gud ønskede 10 dage til at skabe verden, Kurt Thyboe gav ham kun 6! (Simon)
Lars Bom er ikke behængt som en hest. En hest er behængt som Lars Bom!
Det var Dick Kaysø der gav Mona Lisa hendes smil.
Ole Sippel kan dividere med nul!
Justin Timberlake kan have sex 12 timer i træk - Kurt Ravn kan undvære sex i 12 timer!
Poul Glargaard sover med nattelys. Ikke fordi, Poul Glargaard er bange for mørke, men fordi mørket er bange for Poul Glargaard! (Lasse)
Når Kenneth Carlsen falder i vandet blir han ikke våd.. Vandet blir Kenneth Carlsen!
Karl Stegger kærner ikke smør. Han cirkelsparker koen og smøret kommer direkte ud! (Martin)